Rage
I've spent so much energy fighting against my anger. I've held the assumption that if I'm angry, something must be wrong with me. It's been a perennial source of inner conflict.
Don't get me wrong: anger is scary. It's a force to be reckoned with. It's relatively easy to talk about on a surface level: "oh yes, I struggle with anger sometimes". It's another matter entirely to be in the same room with someone in the throes of rage. Or to allow yourself to enter that realm intentionally. It's naturally frightening. All misunderstood power is.
There are seldom any safe spaces where anger can be explored. It's simply too powerful for the majority of folks. We can't hold for others what we haven't faced in ourselves. Yet how do we face something that will overwhelm us? I don't have a good answer there. Keep seeking, friend. They do exist, or maybe they're waiting for you to create them.
Today I'm asking the question, "what if my anger is actually trying to do something really important?" That doesn't excuse collateral damage. It's why real grief is such an important sibling for anger.
It's terribly easy to direct rage at particular people. People are always part of larger systems. Life is composed of systems within systems. Often starting with your immediate family.
Rage acts as a critical course correction mechanism within a system. Dissension is often the catalyst for painful yet necessary change. It's why the Biblical prophetic voice always sprung up when systems settled in to harmful patterns.
So... today's magic is my furrowed brow. The rage I've tried to bury. The one who never relents and will not settle for a bowed knee before unworthy kings.
What makes you angry?